To Joclyn, From Ryland – with love

Happy Valentines day everyone!! I hope you all get to spend a wonderful day with the ones you love, and eat lots of sugary goodness! In fact, why don’t you grab some of that sugar and enjoy this tidbit from Ryland… he has something he want to tell Joclyn.

Jos-

I woke up this morning, my heart expecting to find you right next to me. Even though I knew you wouldn’t be, even though I knew it wasn’t safe. I had prayed to find your warmth beside me, the sweet smell of your skin against mine. I had smelled that sweet smell while I slept, while you brought me into the Tȍuha and healed me. But I couldn’t stay, and my heart aches to know I can never use that connection again, that it is not safe for me to see you.

Although I want to so bad. I want to be the one to protect you; I can feel my heart thump with the desire to save you, the desire for you. It burns through my brain with a need a never thought I would feel. My desire for you followed me after I left the Tȍuha, the pain of your absence stronger than it should have been. But when I woke you weren’t there, nothing was there but a blood stained sheet.

A reminder of what I had gotten us into. The danger I have put you in, the danger I hope that I can protect you from. If fate will let me, I will take the opportunity.

I promise you that.

As I lay here, surrounded by my own blood, I cannot keep my thoughts from you. A million memories of our child hood, the moment I realized how strong my love for you really is. The last time I saw you, when I held you against me. I will forever hold the feeling of your heart beat, the warmth of your skin, inside of me.

It is your memory that sustains me, love. It is the thought of you that will stay inside of me until the day I will remember you no more.

And even then, I am sure the love I feel will remain, as I know yours will.

Don’t let your fire go out, Jos. Do what you were born to do.

Ryland